tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67206517409369007712024-03-04T23:02:28.929-08:00Doc BlogPsychology from an insider's perspective.DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-38441974629739031542012-07-29T09:57:00.000-07:002012-07-29T09:57:29.080-07:00Tips for new therapistsI was visiting an internet forum this morning (what are we supposed to call those now? There are forums, boards, sites, subReddits, groups, lists... just use what you want) and someone asked about tips for new therapists. Even though this blog is aimed at people who GO to therapists, for the most part, I thought you all might get some insight out of what I wrote. If not, then go me for being lazyDocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-89034902835494639692012-07-15T09:28:00.001-07:002021-04-05T20:27:59.964-07:00Three quick ways to lift your mood RIGHT NOW.Change, as you know, can take time. It takes practice to un-learn things, to relearn things, to work at finding the path and staying on it until the changes come. The journey can be a long one.
Sometimes, though, you just want to feel a little something RIGHT NOW. Long term sustainable change is awesome, but every once in a while there's nothing wrong with making a little mid-course correction DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-11121828643973715032012-07-12T08:24:00.000-07:002012-07-12T08:24:53.166-07:00Quick practice: non-judgmental listeningHere's one of those little mindful things you can do no matter where you are.
Listening is one of those things that is simple to learn and nearly impossible to master. I spend my workdays listening, and even with all the practice I have had, it's still tough sometimes to separate myself from what my client is saying. My goal, when really listening, is to get rid of that "how does this impact meDocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-3256844421500998402012-07-10T12:49:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:49:56.454-07:00A one-minute method to help move past old hurtsWhen people come to therapy to see me, they're often trailed by an almost-visible string of old injuries - a hypercritical parent, a missed opportunity, a horrible breakup. And, when I point out to them that they've got some past pain stuck on their shoe, their reaction is almost universally the same: "I've been trying to understand why that happened."
I've worked with clients, sometimes for DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-46522496477984218002012-06-30T09:42:00.000-07:002012-06-30T09:42:49.009-07:00Make changes more easily by harnessing the chain of behaviorMost of us have been there - you make a few resolutions at the new year, and they fall by the wayside. A couple of months later, you try again, recalling those failed resolutions and deciding to just go it on your own, regardless of what the calendar says.
Now the year is half over. Despite your heroic attempts at approaching the problem, rather than avoiding, the changes just haven't taken DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-79002464832698660122012-06-24T13:23:00.000-07:002012-06-24T13:23:37.123-07:00Ask the Doc: When a therapist breaks your trustQ. Someone dear to me was a client of a counselor/therapist who radically broke her trust, and she's never been able to trust any counselor/therapist since. How do you learn to trust a therapist/counselor after your trust has been betrayed by one? (I asked for additional information, and was told that the therapist shared personal information about the client without permission, in order to DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-55934677753760503932012-06-23T09:41:00.000-07:002012-06-23T09:41:52.552-07:00Try this today...Set an alarm for two hours from now. Use your phone, a kitchen timer, whatever works. When the alarm goes off, do this:
- Take five deep breaths. Visualize the stress of the last two hours leaving your body, and fresh energy for the next two hours entering your body.
- Look in a mirror. Say "I love you. You're doing the best that you can."
- Take 30 seconds to say something nice to someone, DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-11819950073423467012012-03-31T09:52:00.001-07:002012-03-31T09:58:19.058-07:00One tiny gesture can change your dayThere are times when we lose track - we get lost in the everyday grind and just forget what got us there in the first place. It's easy to do in a busy day. I'll often tell my clients to take a moment to engage their bodies - to do something physical to give themselves a tangible reminder of something they're trying to keep in their mind. Here's something I wrote that illustrates what I'm talking DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-79023601688920630662012-03-19T15:49:00.001-07:002012-03-19T15:49:32.194-07:00Listen to your heart. Your emotions are the one true thing in your life. Trust yourself, forgive yourself, believe yourself. Love yourself.DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-61199100749634275842012-03-14T15:46:00.001-07:002012-03-14T15:46:03.196-07:00This momentThis exact moment is the one that contains your entire existence. Live it.DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-54567694488273165552012-03-10T11:37:00.000-08:002012-03-10T11:37:29.485-08:00What's my therapist thinking?Like every blogger everywhere, I check my "stats" once in a while, curious to see what brought people to this particular corner of the interwebs. Often, some variation on "what is my therapist thinking?" Or "does my therapist like me?" pops up. And it makes all the sense in the world.
In therapy, one of the things you do as a client is to open yourself up, often to a greater degree than you DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-43416509428069554602012-03-04T12:30:00.000-08:002012-03-04T12:30:33.743-08:00Fear vs. InspirationI was wandering the internet the other day, no doubt seeking some universal truth or maybe just some freshly-unearthed cat memes. A run down my Twitter timeline led me to this link, a collection of Carpenters songs stripped down to just Karen's vocal tracks and maybe a bass line.
I was transfixed for a while, both tumbling back in time to when I was sporting some very Carpenter-esque DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-33289447652680283762012-02-22T11:48:00.000-08:002012-02-22T11:48:51.744-08:00Just for today...Just for today, give yourself the love, kindness and care that you would give to your best friend. The beauty of self forgiveness is that it's the most contagious thing in the world.
If it works, if it makes your day just a tiny bit easier, try it again tomorrow.DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-9465930790436265752012-02-12T10:41:00.000-08:002012-02-12T10:41:26.045-08:00When celebrities leave usWhitney Houston died last night, leaving behind a very public and very complicated legacy. As with all celebrities, she represents different things to different people - an angelic singer, an example of the ravages and wear that drug use can inflict on humans, the butt of a joke, the recipient of a pure gift from God. We are all as complicated and flawed as Whitney Houston was. Most of us are DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-22451522855600787252012-01-16T20:44:00.000-08:002012-02-05T12:19:40.968-08:00Get started making changes: 3 ways to find your start pointIt happens over and over again - my clients want to change. I urge them to start from where they are TODAY. They want to change! Things will be better once they are calmer or angrier or more outgoing or more introspective!
Every once in a while, someone considers what I've said, and then they ask the question: "How do I know where to start? If I'm going to accept who I am... who am I?"
Easy, DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-47645710646609004042012-01-12T13:55:00.000-08:002012-01-12T13:58:20.761-08:00How to walk your way to mindfulness
I have a client who is lost in the future. Not in the literal sense, luckily, although she could come back and tell me who to bet on in this year's Super Bowl. My client is a capital-P Planner. She fights her anxiety by try to fool herself into thinking that she can predict how things are going to go. She'd love to finish school and travel with her boyfriend. She plots ways to convince him. AndDocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-73549565156810671952012-01-09T12:59:00.001-08:002012-01-09T12:59:55.785-08:00CounterintuitiveIt's Monday morning, and it's filthy jet inky black out there. Feels that way, anyway. I pull the strap of my bag over my shoulder and I head out the door.
I put one foot in front of the other on these mornings. I give thanks for the lack of rain, or if it's raining, for dry feet. The path is the same, every day... cross the street in front of the neighbor's house, diagonal weave across a dead DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-29788661774698450812012-01-07T19:02:00.000-08:002012-01-07T19:02:21.330-08:00Skip the resolutionsThe first of the year brings an onslaught of posts about how to keep your resolutions, why to not make resolutions, making resolutions easier, there are no such things as resolutions, finding willpower, giving up and just eating a crapton of chocolate, etc.
I'm not big on resolutions, just as I'm not a big list-maker. I think that, just as with list-making, resolution-making is often done to DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-39084771946179047702011-12-29T10:27:00.000-08:002011-12-29T10:27:01.678-08:00Day to day mindfulnessI wrote a guest post for pickthebrain.com, all about finding opportunities for mindfulness in ordinary moments of life. Since I've been so bad about updating lately (!!) I thought I could at least link the post here.
If you're new to the Doc Blog, please feel free to go browse back through some old entries, and rest assured that you'll see some more content soon. The holidays are wrapping up, myDocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-2934127917030131742011-12-21T10:29:00.000-08:002011-12-21T10:29:50.237-08:00One sure-fire way to soften the holiday bluesI'll disclose the secret right at the very beginning, and then we'll talk about it, okay? Are you ready? Here it is!
GIVE.
Pretty simple. I know that many are afflicted with holiday depression. For some, it's a continuation of an issue that they struggle with all year. For others, something about the holiday season triggers a case of the blues that makes this time of year just awful for them. DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-69290634069443714762011-12-18T12:22:00.000-08:002011-12-18T12:22:32.955-08:00Three ways to make breaking up not as hard to doI work at a college counseling center. Therefore, I work with college students. Therefore, at any given time, I work with people who are in the uncomfortable throes of a breakup. I have become something of a breakup expert at this point, whether I've wanted to or not, and I think that the least I could do with all of that knowledge is to pass a little bit of it along.
Everyone is different, of DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-16598950065759051612011-12-06T13:46:00.000-08:002011-12-06T13:46:17.689-08:00Why your last therapy session may be the best one of allAs you know if you've read this blog for any period of time, I work at a college counseling center. At this time of year, most students are bracing for finals, and for that trip home that some love, and some loathe. For some of my clients, though, it's time to graduate.
Graduation is a positive event for nearly everyone. All those years of attending classes, writing papers, taking tests... DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-53316949462780609682011-12-04T17:27:00.000-08:002011-12-04T17:27:58.059-08:00One Minute to Ground YourselfWhen you were a kid, being grounded was not such a great thing - it meant that you'd done something wrong (at least as far as your mom was concerned) and you were forced to stay home, instead of going out and maybe getting in more trouble.
Now, as a grown-up, grounding means something entirely different. Well, maybe not entirely different - after all, when we think of grounding ourselves, we areDocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-11854849067447073702011-11-26T12:04:00.000-08:002011-11-26T12:04:16.698-08:00Is the myth of closure keeping you from moving on?My friend Dr. Internet tells me that closure is "necessary," and "important," and "essential to moving on after a relationship ends." You know closure - it's that amazing thing that happens after you have that conversation like they have in the movies, and you both realize that you're better off, and that you've made the right decision. The movies say that this happens just prior to a big plot DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6720651740936900771.post-64068516717367842282011-11-21T10:30:00.001-08:002011-11-21T10:30:49.120-08:00The Doc's Holiday Gift GuideWhat to get everyone this holiday season: Genuine gratitude, heartfelt love, and patient acceptance. Not available in stores.
Really.
Stay tuned for a "Holiday stress" post. It will probably be the only one on the internet. :)DocBloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17216352251769531134noreply@blogger.com0